Summary of Tax Relief Plan

I'm sure that many of you are, like me, Turbo Tax users. If so, you likely have been advised of the information I'm including in this post.

The current TurboTax Newsletter had the following explanation of the government's tax relief program. I hope you'll find it helpful.

Most taxpayers will get more money in their pockets in 2009

The new recovery act, according to the White House, will give a direct tax break to 95 percent of workers and their families, through the Making Work Pay Credit.

The law contains many other tax breaks that should provide a financial boost to everyone from the unemployed and low income, to families with children and children in college, to first-time homebuyers and taxpayers buying new cars.

The $787 billion legislation, which Congress approved Feb. 13, is designed to get both individuals and businesses to open their wallets and to lift the economy out of its slump. Most of the cuts are good for only a year or two.

As more details about the tax changes become available, TurboTax will post them here.

Tax breaks for individuals, families:

Workers

Making Work Pay Credit: Workers and the self-employed would get a payroll tax credit for 2009 and 2010 of up to $400 a year for single taxpayers, and up to $800 for couples filing jointly.

The IRS will get the money to taxpayers by adjusting the withholding tables, thereby boosting paychecks. The increase could be as much as $40 per month per worker, depending on when the withholding tables are changed. Self-employed workers will claim the credit on their tax returns. In the meantime, they can reduce their estimated tax payments for 2009.
For single tax filers, the credit will begin phasing out at an Adjusted Gross Income (AGI) of $75,000. For couples filing jointly, the phaseout zone will start at $150,000 of AGI. (Adjusted Gross Income is your total income from wages and other income minus certain adjustments, such as deductible IRA contributions and alimony paid.)

Unemployed

Reduced taxes on unemployment income: Normally, people receiving unemployment benefits must report them as income and can be taxed on them. The new bill makes the first $2,400 of unemployment income nontaxable.

First-time homebuyers

First-time Homebuyer's Credit: The tax package increases the $7,500 first-time homebuyer credit to $8,000 for primary residences purchased between Jan. 1, 2009 and Nov. 30, 2009, and eliminates the requirement that the credit be repaid, as long as the house isn’t sold within three years.

College students

Expanded Hope Credit: The Hope Credit for college costs is increased to $2,500 for 2009 and 2010, covering 100 percent of the first $2,000 of tuition and related expenses per year and 25 percent of the next $2,000.

The credit is available for all four years of college, up from only two years, and covers the cost of books. It is 40 percent refundable, and begins to phase out at $80,000 of Adjusted Gross Income for singles and $160,000 of Adjusted Gross Income for married couples.

The bill also allows tax-free distributions from Section 529 College Savings Plans to cover computer purchases.

New car buyers

New car sales tax deduction: Buyers of new cars, light trucks, SUVs, motorcycles or motor homes during 2009, can deduct the state sales or excise tax they pay, even if they don’t itemize their deductions.

This break starts phasing out for single taxpayers with Adjusted Gross Income over $125,000 and couples with AGI over $250,000.

Tax Breaks for Families

Expanded Earned Income Tax Credit (EITC): More couples who file jointly and have children will qualify for the Earned Income Credit.

The tax package starts the phaseout range at $21,420, an increase of $1,880. Also in 2009, the credit increases for families with three or more children to 45 percent of the first $12,570 of earned income, up from 40 percent.

Enhanced Child Tax Credit: Plus, the Child Tax Credit will cover more low-income earners: For 2008, the credit is refundable to the extent of 15 percent of an individual’s earned income in excess of $8,500; for 2009 and 2010, that floor drops to $3,000.

Retirees, veterans and the disabled

One-time payment of $250: Because the payroll tax credit only goes to employees and the self-employed, the bill adds something for others as well: a one-time payment of $250 to recipients of Social Security benefits, Railroad Retirement benefits, Supplemental Security Income payments, and pension and disability benefits from the Veterans Administration.

Government retirees who don’t get Social Security will also get a one-time refundable tax credit of $250 in 2009.

Homeowners

Extended energy-saving credits: The 10 percent tax credit for energy-saving home improvements climbs to 30 percent and is extended through 2010. Improvements that qualify for the credit include energy-efficient skylights, windows and outer doors, along with energy-saving water heaters, central air conditioners and biomass stoves.

The bill also eliminates individual credit caps for the different types of property, and instead imposes a $1,500 cap on all qualifying property.

Middle-income taxpayers

One-year "patch" on the Alternative Minimum Tax: To keep millions of middle-income taxpayers from being forced to pay the Alternative Minimum Tax (AMT) for 2009, the measure increases the minimum tax exemptions to $70,950 for couples filing jointly and $46,700 for single filers. Otherwise, the exemptions would top out at just $45,000 for couples and $33,750
for singles.

Businesses will get a big share of the tax breaks

Small businesses would most likely be affected by the following changes:

Bonus depreciation

Special 50 percent, first-year bonus depreciation is revived for assets bought and placed in service during 2009.

Loss carrybacks

Businesses that averaged $15 million or less in gross receipts over the past three years will be allowed to carry back losses for five years instead of two. The easing applies only to 2008 losses.

A Password Horror Story

Our clients often get aggrevated or downright mad when we suggest using strong passwords because they're hard to remember and sometimes even harder to type.

We invaiably suggest that passwords have the following characteristics:

• At least seven (7) characters long
• At least one upper case character, more than one is better
• At least one number
• At least one special character
• A life of not more than 42 days (that's 6 weeks for those who are numerically challenged)
• Mandatory password change every 42 days
• Passwords cannot contain any part of the username
• Passwords cannot be reused for at least 13 months.

One of our clients insisted on keeping passwords SIMPLE. The administrative password was a subset of the company name and all users shared the same short password. They held firm and nothing we said could make them change their mind -- that is UNTIL

• There was a requirement to reboot their server
• The system immediately rejected the administrator username and pasword when entered
• No amount of guessing resulted in a username/password combo that worked
• The perpetrator also hijacked disk space and turned off all administrative reporting so that network administrators would have no idea what was happening
• They took a two day outage while the server was reloaded.

Was it worth what happened to keep things simple? I argue NO.

How To Reduce System Vulnerability

Never does a day go by without at least one client calling to report a security related problem. More often than not, it's a problem with a computer they have at home rather than one at work.

We universally ask the same question -- at the time of the problem (or system infestation), were you signed on as a user with administrator rights on the system. The answer is almost universally "YES".

The byline of an article I read earlier today says "Removing admin rights stymies 92% of Microsoft's bugs." Believe me, folks, 92% is a BIG NUMBER when you consider the number of bugs reported to Microsoft.

Having less than administrator rights makes operating a computer a little cumbersome -- it means that you may not be able to install software or add printers to your machine. There are also a few programs (e.g., some versions of QuickBooks) that expect you to be signed on as a user with administrator rights; but there are usually ways around that.

So what do I suggest. Have two (2) user accounts on your PC and ALWAYS use the user account unless you absolutely need to do something that requires administrator priviledges. That's not nearly as big a problem now as it used to be anyway; because in most instances you can "Run As Administrator" when installing software even if your user account has less than administrator priviledge so long as you know the right passcode.

Try this, you'll like it and find your system stability to improve.

Today - A Moment in History

Without discussing my political bent or party persuasion, I cannot help but be moved by the significance of today's events.

Today is a day I never dreamed of seeing -- the day a black man is elevated to the highest job in our contry. The fact that the event follows by only one day the recognition of Dr. Martin Luther King is especially significant.

As I've watched events transpire this morning, I can't help but be moved by the excitement coming from Washington, so exciting that it's been described as electric.

Mr. Obama, I truly wish you well. Mr. Bush, I truly wish you Godspeed! May you not just vanish into oblivion and may your legacy justify many of your actions.

It's That Time Of Year Again

Am I the only person on the planet who feels like Christmas 2007 occurred YESTERDAY? Where has this year gone?

I've often been told that age causes more than grey hair and short term memory loss. Every year tends to compress time -- to the point where years just fly by.

As I think back on 2008, I certainly can't ignore the economic downturn. It's pretty hard to ignore -- especially when I look at earning statements on the 401K.

Enough for the personal stuff. Now for the intent of this post.

Even though it's been a tough year, many small businesses have either made money or are in a position where they MUST REPLACE some of their hardware. That being the case, there are a few things you know but may not remember....

• I have long been a supporter of DELL desktops; but I'm now tending to recommend HP. I've installed about an equal number of both this year year; and the HPs have so far been far more reliable than the DELLs. I am still recommending DELL in instances where the client is only replacing one or two machines to avoid having a mixed bag of hardware.
  
• There are some great server deals out there right now; and of the server manufacturers, IBM is probably the very best. Their servers are not pretty; but they sure are reliable.
  
• Microsoft has released server 2008 in all versions now, including Small Business Server 2008.
  
• Remember, hardware bought now and PUT INTO SERVICE before the end-of-2008 can be expensed this year (subject to guidelines). Don't wait until 12/31 to decide; because that will force your expenditure into 2009.
  
  

Microsoft Security Bulletin

Recognize and avoid fraudulent e-mail to Microsoft customers:
=============================================================
If you receive an e-mail message that claims to be distributing a Microsoft security update, it is a hoax that may contain malware or pointers to malicious Web sites. Microsoft does not distribute security updates via e-mail.

The Microsoft Security Response Center (MSRC) uses PGP to digitally sign all security notifications. However, it is not required to read security notifications, security bulletins, security advisories, or install security updates. You can obtain the MSRC public PGP key at https://www.microsoft.com/technet/security/bulletin/pgp.mspx.

To receive automatic notifications whenever Microsoft Security Bulletins and Microsoft Security Advisories are issued or revised, subscribe to Microsoft Technical Security Notifications on http://www.microsoft.com/technet/security/bulletin/notify.mspx.

Ever Wonder About Pirates and Cannon Balls?

CANNON BALLS!!It was necessary to keep a good supply of cannon balls near the cannon on old war ships. But how to prevent them from rolling about the deck was the problem. The best storage method devised was to stack them as a square based pyramid, with one ball on top, resting on four, resting on nine, which rested on sixteen.

Thus, a supply of 30 cannon balls could be stacked in a small area right next to the cannon. There was only one problem -- how to prevent the bottom layer from sliding/rolling from under the others.

The solution was a metal plate with 16 round indentations, called, for reasons unknown, a Monkey. But if this plate were made of iron, the iron balls would quickly rust to it. The solution to the rusting problem was to make them of brass - hence, Brass Monkeys.Few landlubbers realize that brass contracts much more and much faste r than iron when chilled. Consequently, when the temperature dropped too far, the brass indentations would shrink so much that the iron cannon balls would come right off the monkey.

Thus, it was quite literally, cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey. And all this time, you thought that was just a vulgar expression, didn't you?

A Serious System Threat

We have recently had calls from several clients who have fallen victim to a sofware rogue that seriously impacts your abilty to do productive work on your computers. The rogue is named with Anti-Virus 2008 or Anti-Virus 2009.

On first blush, the product looks very "official". Victims most often think their system (or the Windows Security features) is telling them they have an infestation that needs to be addressed. So the computer gives permission, opens the door and waits for whatever happens. And what's likely to happen is NOT good.

Once in your system, manually getting rid of the thing is almost an impossible task. It's a multi-step process that requires manually deleting files, editing the registry and other nasties that casual users should not consider.

We've found one product that does a very good job unless Windows has really been damaged; and that product is SpyHunter. We recommend it highly. You can download it free and run it to determine if your machine is infected; but you must pay the $29.99 and register it before you can use it clean your PC.

The best solution though is to not put your machine at risk in the first place.

Some Very Interesting Stuff -- A Must See

Those of you who really know me know that I'm a junky for numbers. Though I could never stretch my imagination enough to even roughly consider myself to be a statistician, I have all my life been fascinated by numbers and by statistics. And for some reason, the more trivial the statistic, the better.

I was just sent an email that contained a link to a video that deals with a lot of those things. More importantly, it deals with the explosive growth of Internet based technologies world wide.

I think it's a "keeper" and one that should be viewed by a larger number of people. Click here to watch the video.

10 Ways to Survive and Thrive in a Downturn

1. Offer free assessments and other road-mapping tools to your customers. You’ll ensure a quicker sales cycle when they’re ready to buy.
2. Introduce new technologies often. Your customers should always know what’s there in the market and that you can get it to them as soon as they need it.
3. Keep relationships strong by conducting regular webinars on the solutions you offer
4. Show customers that productivity gains from solutions such as virtualization can offset the costs of implementing the technology.
5. Focus on recession-proof technologies such as security and storage, where customers’ needs tend to grow regardless of the economy.
6. If you haven’t already, think about developing a managed services practice. A small investment on your part can help your customers plan for the future.
7. Develop case studies to show customers your solutions and successes, and what you can do for them.
8. Expand your customer base. Serving more vertical markets means less cyclical exposure to any one customer segment’s spending patterns.
9. Get the timing right. New technology adoption, compliance issues and policy changes can open the door to new opportunities.
10. Go Green. Help customers save money and look smart doing it by implementing solutions that reduce their data center footprint and power consumption costs.
    

Not Sure Whether To Be Disappointed or Mad As Hell

Those of you who already know me know that I have all my life been a die-hard Republican as was my father before me and likely his father before him. Dad would spin in his grave if he knew that I had ever even considered pulling more than a single lever when in the voting booth.

Enough said for that! That's not the reason I'm writing this entry.

During John McCain's search for a running mate, I repeatedly and in many forums said that I'd like to think that he would at least consider the honorable governor of the great state of Alaska. You can imagine how delighted I was when he announced that Sarah Palin was, in fact, his choice. I had about 30 seconds in which to revel before the reality began to set in -- the liberal media was not about to let this happen without a fight and a smear campaign to end all smear campaigns

Then the started on Sarah Palin's young, beautiful and vivacious 17 year old daughter -- how low can you stoop.

What brought this to a head was the morning after Gustav tormented the Gulf Coast. The most biased network of the majors -- ABC -- and their most Obama devotee, Dianne Sawyer, spent almost 20 minutes railing over the sins of the Palin daughter before they ever even mentioned the damage done to the Gulf Coast only the day before. DISGRACEFUL!

I had a meeting last night and rushed home to hear Palin's speech. She blew the opposition away. I told my wife that it was likely the second best political speech I had ever heard -- second only to one from Ronald Regan himself.

Go Sarah -- Go. And may God Bless You and may God Bless America in spite of what the liberal media wants.

We’ve Lost a True Friend

Some of you who read this post realize that I have fought and, I hope, beaten a diagnosis of terminal cancer.

I have survived nearly two decades since the doctors told me I had one chance in a million of living a month after being diagnosed with bone cancer in my hip, pelvis and right femur.

A man I never met but grew to respect and love for his courage, openness and willingness to share every element of his fight lost his battle with pancreatic cancer last week.

Randy Pausch, computer science professor extraordinaire at Carnegie Mellon University, put up a valiant fight. It was a fight he knew from the outset that he was not likely to win – but that never deterred his lust for life. I never ceased to be amazed every time I heard him say "…I'm dying but I'm still having fun."

Randy left behind a wife and beautiful children. He also left behind an unmatched legacy for which I will always be grateful.

I sat last night and watched through tear stained eyes Dianne Sawyer's beautiful Primetime Live television show dedicated to the life of Dr. Randy Pausch. His death left a void for me. Even though I never personally met this man, I developed a respect and a love for him that's familial and real.

God Bless You Randy Pausch. You truly changed my life.

UNBELIEVABLE MATH PROBLEM

Here is a math trick so unbelievable that it will stump you.

I would like to know who came up with this and why that person is not running the country.

Grab a calculator. (you won't be able to do this one in your Head)

• Key in the first three digits of your phone number (NOT the Area code...)
• Multiply by 80
• Add 1
• Multiply by 250
• Add to this the last 4 digits of your phone number
• Add to this the last 4 digits of your phone number again.
• Subtract 250
• Divide number by 2

Do you recognize the answer ??

Five Tips For Maintaining a Slow Growth Business

You know the expression "good things come in small packages." The same sentiment can apply to small businesses too. Entrepreneurs don't have to set their sights on building a mega-million-dollar business to enjoy a highly satisfying and lucrative entrepreneurial career.

Financially speaking, research has shown that small-business owners enjoy an average net worth that is three times that of their salaried counterparts. Business owners also tend to out-perform salaried employees in terms of higher annual incomes, savings, and stock portfolios.

Parents, college career counselors, and students should also take note that women are more likely to achieve $100,000-plus annual incomes faster through business ownership than average professional careers in law or medicine.

Even though business ownership offers considerable potential for financial reward, entrepreneurs still talk to me about their overriding desire to control their work destiny. They don't want to work 18-hour days or feel chained to inflexible schedules that conflict with family and leisure interests. Their attraction to business ownership is more about creative pursuits and career flexibility than monetary gain.

Of course, just because an organization is small doesn't mean that it will be stress-free or less vulnerable to business problems.

Countering the risk of falling behind

"Adversity Quotient: Turning Obstacles into Opportunities" is one of my favorite mindset development books. The book's author, Paul Stoltz, refers to individuals who are always taking energetic steps forward as "climbers." Individuals who are content to hang out in places of comfort are called "campers."

Stoltz warns that whenever individuals and businesses become complacent, they don't just stay in the same competitive position. They actually fall behind. It makes sense too. Because small-business climbers are almost always moving onward and upward in their quest for profitable customers, eventually they will surpass the campers.

But it is possible to run a "no-growth" or "slow-growth" enterprise and not be considered an unproductive camper in the small-business community. A slow-growing business doesn't have to be a weak business, provided the owner takes proactive steps to minimize risk and maximize every minute of every workday.

Here are five tips for keeping a slow-growing business efficient and healthy.

1. Define success in quantitative terms. The problem with starting a business is that sometimes, in the quest for new work-life objectives, owners don't always set measurable goals. After your business is profitable, however, you need to think about the next operating milestone: standard benefits and compensation for company founders and staff members.

This means the business is able to consistently generate enough income to pay fair market salaries, and cover payroll taxes, health-insurance premiums, business liability insurance, and annual contributions to a Simple IRA or other small-business retirement savings programs. Entrepreneurs who are single or don't have any other sources of income should add disability insurance to this list.

Simply stated, a business should be big enough to take care of the founder and support staff. Keep climbing until you reach this target!

2. Reduce dependence on any single customer or partner. Even the best-performing companies are vulnerable to fast failure if their revenues or profits are tied to one customer, one distributor, or one business partnership. With each passing year in business, dependencies should shrink to the point where no single relationship loss can put your company out of business.

3. Improve largest-customer profitability. Ideally, a small company's largest customers should be its most profitable customers. It is surprising how many business owners accept the reverse situation. Entrepreneurs who want to stay small and productive must favor customers who value their work and are willing to pay top dollar for it.

4. Identify backup support staff. Wouldn't it be nice if all customers presented new orders in an orderly, manageable way? As there aren't many foolproof ways to prevent sudden surges in customer demand, small-business owners have to take steps to protect their 9-to-5 work day.

One strategy is to identify project consultants or part-time support help for every key function in your business. For example, a company that provides research and grant writing services for nonprofit organizations can develop sub-contractor relationships with part-time researchers, writers, or editors. The trick is to test contractors out long before crunch time.

5. Reduce time allocated to administrative tasks. If you want to get more revenues and profits out of each workday, an easy fix is to reduce the amount of time spent on administration. If you think about it, you don't pay your bills, your customers do. However, small-business owners put aside money-making activities for less important administrative tasks. How often do they do this? Every single day!

My solution is to push all billing, mail opening, office supply store trips, and miscellaneous correspondence to just one day a week, preferably Friday afternoon. By eliminating time-consuming interruptions, you'll get more out of the rest of the week.

What is the secret to owning a slow-growing business to preserve time for family, friends, vacations, and fun? I think it all comes down to focusing your energy on this small list of business-enhancing initiatives and doing them really well.

About the author Susan Schreter is a Seattle-area investment banker and venture-funding expert serving startup entrepreneurs and fast-growth company executives. She also teaches business financing and entrepreneurship at business schools, angel forums, and microfinance organizations in the United States and internationally. Write to Susan at susan@takecommand.org.

Happy Independence Day

Management and staff at JFSI-J. Fair Systems, Inc. want to wish you and yours a great 4th of July Holiday this year. We hope that you will join us today, taking a few minutes during fesitivities to remember those who put themselves in harms way to protect us.

Keep God first and everything else will follow.

There once was a man who had nothing for his family to eat. He had an old shotgun and three bullets. So, he decided that he would go out and kill something for dinner.

As he went down the road, he saw a rabbit and he shot at the rabbit and missed it. Then he saw a squirrel and fired a shot at the squirrel and missed it. As he went further, he saw a wild turkey in the tree and he had only one bullet, but a voice came to him and said "pray first, aim high and stay focused."

However, at the same time, he saw deer which was a better kill. He brought the gun down and aimed at the deer. But, then he saw a rattle snake between his legs about to bite him, so he naturally brought the gun down further to shoot the rattle snake.

Still, the voice said again to him, "I said 'pray, aim high and stay focused." So, the man decided to listen to the voice. He prayed, then aimed the gun high up in the tree and shot the wild turkey. The bullet bounced off the turkey and killed the deer. The handle fell off the gun and hit the snake in the head and killed it.

And, when the gun had gone off, it knocked him into a pond. When he stood to look around, he had fish in all his pockets, a dead deer and a turkey to eat.

The snake (Satan) was dead simply because the man listened to God.

The Bottom line:

Pray first before you do anything, aim and shoot high in your goals, and stay focused on God. Pass this on in order that someone else might be blessed. Never let others discourage you concerning your past. The past is exactly that - " the past." Live every day one day at a time. And remember that only God knows our future and that he will not put you through any more than you can bear. Do not look to man for your blessings but look to the Lord. He can open doors for you that only He is able to do. Doors that you will not slip through but doors that only He has prepared in advance for you in your favor.

Wait, and be still, patient: keep God first and everything else will follow.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

BARACK OBAMA:
The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!

JOHN MC CAIN:
My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON:
When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.......

DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.

OPRAH:
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W. BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...

ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

NANCY GRACE:
That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.

GRANDPA:
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it
experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never .......... reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE:
I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?

DICK CHENEY:
Where's my gun?

AL SHARPTON:
Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

Ever Try to Quantify A Billion?

The next time you hear a politician use the word 'billion' in a casual manner, think about whether you want the'politicians' spending your tax money.

A billion is a difficult number to comprehend, but one advertising agency did a good job of putting that figure into some perspective in one of its releases. 

A. A billion seconds ago it was 1959.

B. A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive. 

C. A billion hours ago our ancestors were living in the Stone Age.

D. A billion days ago no-one walked on the earth on two feet.

E. A billion dollars ago was only 8 hours and 20 minutes, at the rate our government is spending it.

 

While this thought is still fresh in our brain, let's take a look at New Orleans It's amazing what you can learn with some simple division

Louisiana Senator, Mary Landrieu (D), is presently asking the Congress for $250 BILLION to rebuild New Orleans. Interesting number, what does it mean?

A. Well, if you are one of 484,674 residents of New Orleans (every man, woman, child), you each get $516,528.

B. Or, if you have one of the 188,251 homes in New Orleans , your home gets $1,329,787.

C. Or, if you are a family of four, your family gets $2,066,012.

Washington, D. C .

HELLO!

Are all your calculators broken?

• Accounts Receivable Tax
  
• Building Permit Tax 
  
• CDL License Tax 
  
• Cigarette Tax 
  
• Corporate Income Tax 
  
• Dog License Tax 
  
• Federal Income Tax 
  
• Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA) 
  
• Fishing License Tax 
  
• Food License Tax 
  
• Fuel Perm it Tax 
  
• Gasoline Tax 
  
• Hunting License Tax 
  
• Inheritance Tax 
  
• Inventory Tax 
  
• IRS Interest Charges (tax on top of tax), 
  
• IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax), 
  
• Liquor Tax, 
  
• Luxury Tax, 
  
• Marriage License Tax, 
  
• Medicare Tax, 
  
• Property Tax, 
  
• Rain Tax
  
• Real Estate Tax, 
  
• Service charge taxes, 
  
• Social Security Tax, 
  
• Road Usage Tax (Truckers), 
  
• Sales Taxes, 
  
• Recreational Vehicle Tax, 
  
• School Tax, 
  
• State Income Tax, 
  
• State Unemployment Tax (SUTA), 
  
• Telephone Federal Excise Tax, 
  
• Telephone Federal Universal Service Fe e Tax, 
  
• Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge Tax, 
  
• Telephone Minimum Usage
  
• Surcharge Tax,
  
• Telephone Recurring and
  
• Non-recurring Charges Tax, 
  
• Telephone State and Local Tax, 
  
• Telephone Usage Charge Tax, 
  
• Ut ility Tax, 
  
• Vehicle License Registration Tax, 
  
• Vehicle Sales Tax, 
  
• Watercraft Registration Tax, 
  
• Well Permit Tax, 
  
• Workers Compensation Tax. 
  
  STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY?
  

Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago, and our nation was the most prosperous in the world. 
We had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class in t he world, and Mom stayed home to raise the kids. 

What happened? Can you spell 'politicians!'? And to think that I have to 'press 1' for English. 

What the heck happened?

Answer: Voters have been dumbed-down and become dependent on our tax dollars!

 

 

Vista Service Pack 1

I have for years been a systems integrator, web developer, network and database specialist. I certainly have more expertise in some areas than in others; but my clients like the work I do for them in all the areas mentioned.

For years, I was a MAJOR proponent of not letting a fix or service pack get cold before it was applied. If it became available in the morning, it was supposed to be on by close-of-business that day. That was, I took that approach until I either got a lot smarter, got severely burned or both. Then for years, I took the approach that you should always run one maintenance level behind unless there was an absolutely overriding reason for doing otherwise. That was until I ran into situations where I needed software that required an uninstalled pre-requisite fix.

I have for the last few years been a proponent of the "wait and see" approach. Wait until the fix has a chance to be proven solid and then apply it. That is until Vista Service Pack 1 came out.

My experience with Vista was abysmal at best. I hated the OS, found it buggy, slow and a general over plumped OS. So when SP1 came out, I more or less jumped at the chance to apply it; and I have not been disappointed.

The HP dual core machines on which the OS has been installed now FLIES instead of crawling. We're seeing performance improvements in the 45-55% range and seeing a marked decrease in number of abnormal program terminations and long debugging sessions.

The net of this is clear. If you're running Vista and have been afraid to install it – DO IT. There's no better time than this weekend.

ABC News

I was earlier this morning watching the first segment of Good Morning America and was absolutely appalled at and disturbed by what I saw.

First let me say that this blog post does not represent my political bent. While it may be obvious where I stand politically by the time you finish reading this, my political position is not the issue. The issue is whether a company that's charged with reporting the news should be as open in displaying its bias as is ABC News.

What led me to this post?

• Hilary Clinton won yesterdays Pennsylvania primary – winning it quite handily. A double digit win is impressive
  
• The opening segment started with Obama. Unless you knew the outcome, you'd have thought he won
  
• When ABC News finally got around to acknowledging Clinton's win, they did it by going on the attack and criticizing her for her methods
  

At one time, I referred to ABC as the Anti-American Broadcasting Company – now I think they're changing their position to the Anybody But Clinton network. I don't know what they see in Obama. My take on this dude is that if he were white with exactly the same credentials he has he would likely not even be a senator. If he was lucky enough to have the job, he would certainly NOT be where he is, because it's the black block of votes that's propelled him to where he is.