Keep God first and everything else will follow.

There once was a man who had nothing for his family to eat. He had an old shotgun and three bullets. So, he decided that he would go out and kill something for dinner.

As he went down the road, he saw a rabbit and he shot at the rabbit and missed it. Then he saw a squirrel and fired a shot at the squirrel and missed it. As he went further, he saw a wild turkey in the tree and he had only one bullet, but a voice came to him and said "pray first, aim high and stay focused."

However, at the same time, he saw deer which was a better kill. He brought the gun down and aimed at the deer. But, then he saw a rattle snake between his legs about to bite him, so he naturally brought the gun down further to shoot the rattle snake.

Still, the voice said again to him, "I said 'pray, aim high and stay focused." So, the man decided to listen to the voice. He prayed, then aimed the gun high up in the tree and shot the wild turkey. The bullet bounced off the turkey and killed the deer. The handle fell off the gun and hit the snake in the head and killed it.

And, when the gun had gone off, it knocked him into a pond. When he stood to look around, he had fish in all his pockets, a dead deer and a turkey to eat.

The snake (Satan) was dead simply because the man listened to God.

The Bottom line:

Pray first before you do anything, aim and shoot high in your goals, and stay focused on God. Pass this on in order that someone else might be blessed. Never let others discourage you concerning your past. The past is exactly that - " the past." Live every day one day at a time. And remember that only God knows our future and that he will not put you through any more than you can bear. Do not look to man for your blessings but look to the Lord. He can open doors for you that only He is able to do. Doors that you will not slip through but doors that only He has prepared in advance for you in your favor.

Wait, and be still, patient: keep God first and everything else will follow.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

BARACK OBAMA:
The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!

JOHN MC CAIN:
My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON:
When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.......

DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.

OPRAH:
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W. BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...

ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

NANCY GRACE:
That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.

GRANDPA:
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it
experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never .......... reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE:
I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?

DICK CHENEY:
Where's my gun?

AL SHARPTON:
Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

Ever Try to Quantify A Billion?

The next time you hear a politician use the word 'billion' in a casual manner, think about whether you want the'politicians' spending your tax money.

A billion is a difficult number to comprehend, but one advertising agency did a good job of putting that figure into some perspective in one of its releases. 

A. A billion seconds ago it was 1959.

B. A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive. 

C. A billion hours ago our ancestors were living in the Stone Age.

D. A billion days ago no-one walked on the earth on two feet.

E. A billion dollars ago was only 8 hours and 20 minutes, at the rate our government is spending it.

 

While this thought is still fresh in our brain, let's take a look at New Orleans It's amazing what you can learn with some simple division

Louisiana Senator, Mary Landrieu (D), is presently asking the Congress for $250 BILLION to rebuild New Orleans. Interesting number, what does it mean?

A. Well, if you are one of 484,674 residents of New Orleans (every man, woman, child), you each get $516,528.

B. Or, if you have one of the 188,251 homes in New Orleans , your home gets $1,329,787.

C. Or, if you are a family of four, your family gets $2,066,012.

Washington, D. C .

HELLO!

Are all your calculators broken?

• Accounts Receivable Tax
  
• Building Permit Tax 
  
• CDL License Tax 
  
• Cigarette Tax 
  
• Corporate Income Tax 
  
• Dog License Tax 
  
• Federal Income Tax 
  
• Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA) 
  
• Fishing License Tax 
  
• Food License Tax 
  
• Fuel Perm it Tax 
  
• Gasoline Tax 
  
• Hunting License Tax 
  
• Inheritance Tax 
  
• Inventory Tax 
  
• IRS Interest Charges (tax on top of tax), 
  
• IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax), 
  
• Liquor Tax, 
  
• Luxury Tax, 
  
• Marriage License Tax, 
  
• Medicare Tax, 
  
• Property Tax, 
  
• Rain Tax
  
• Real Estate Tax, 
  
• Service charge taxes, 
  
• Social Security Tax, 
  
• Road Usage Tax (Truckers), 
  
• Sales Taxes, 
  
• Recreational Vehicle Tax, 
  
• School Tax, 
  
• State Income Tax, 
  
• State Unemployment Tax (SUTA), 
  
• Telephone Federal Excise Tax, 
  
• Telephone Federal Universal Service Fe e Tax, 
  
• Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge Tax, 
  
• Telephone Minimum Usage
  
• Surcharge Tax,
  
• Telephone Recurring and
  
• Non-recurring Charges Tax, 
  
• Telephone State and Local Tax, 
  
• Telephone Usage Charge Tax, 
  
• Ut ility Tax, 
  
• Vehicle License Registration Tax, 
  
• Vehicle Sales Tax, 
  
• Watercraft Registration Tax, 
  
• Well Permit Tax, 
  
• Workers Compensation Tax. 
  
  STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY?
  

Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago, and our nation was the most prosperous in the world. 
We had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class in t he world, and Mom stayed home to raise the kids. 

What happened? Can you spell 'politicians!'? And to think that I have to 'press 1' for English. 

What the heck happened?

Answer: Voters have been dumbed-down and become dependent on our tax dollars!

 

 

Vista Service Pack 1

I have for years been a systems integrator, web developer, network and database specialist. I certainly have more expertise in some areas than in others; but my clients like the work I do for them in all the areas mentioned.

For years, I was a MAJOR proponent of not letting a fix or service pack get cold before it was applied. If it became available in the morning, it was supposed to be on by close-of-business that day. That was, I took that approach until I either got a lot smarter, got severely burned or both. Then for years, I took the approach that you should always run one maintenance level behind unless there was an absolutely overriding reason for doing otherwise. That was until I ran into situations where I needed software that required an uninstalled pre-requisite fix.

I have for the last few years been a proponent of the "wait and see" approach. Wait until the fix has a chance to be proven solid and then apply it. That is until Vista Service Pack 1 came out.

My experience with Vista was abysmal at best. I hated the OS, found it buggy, slow and a general over plumped OS. So when SP1 came out, I more or less jumped at the chance to apply it; and I have not been disappointed.

The HP dual core machines on which the OS has been installed now FLIES instead of crawling. We're seeing performance improvements in the 45-55% range and seeing a marked decrease in number of abnormal program terminations and long debugging sessions.

The net of this is clear. If you're running Vista and have been afraid to install it – DO IT. There's no better time than this weekend.